


It is the destiny of stars to collapse

by A_Modern_Girl



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, Dark, F/M, Spatial Anomaly, everyone dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23985622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Modern_Girl/pseuds/A_Modern_Girl
Summary: At the end, Janeway and Chakotay reflect on their choices. Season 5 AU. Unapologetically dark. You’ve been warned.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 24
Kudos: 39
Collections: Caught The Darkness (Star Trek Fandom Event - May 2020)





	It is the destiny of stars to collapse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Caladenia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caladenia/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Explosive](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14728043) by [MiaCooper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaCooper/pseuds/MiaCooper). 



> This story came together with help from many sources. It is inspired by Leonard Cohen’s poem [A Street](https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2009/03/02/a-street) and by the story [Explosive](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14728043). Thank you [MiaCooper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaCooper/pseuds/MiaCooper) for that wonderful story and for your encouragement of this one. I am also extremely grateful to the fabulous [coffeeblack75](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeblack75) for the masterful beta. Lastly, this is a gift for [Caladenia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/caladenia): thank you for the prompt and for everything else.

The bridge was a turbulent cacophony of sounds, smells and sparks. And then, suddenly, it wasn’t. Kathryn Janeway opened her eyes, hardly realizing she had clenched them shut in the first place. It wasn’t that the bridge was peaceful – far from it. But somehow, the chaos had paused. The flames emanating from the science station were still. Tom Paris was frowning in concentration at the helm, but his hands were frozen, poised above the console. Janeway whipped her head around to find Tuvok and Kim were a blur, moving faster than any person should be capable of. Finally, she looked to her left and sighed with relief when she saw Chakotay blink at her at normal speed.

“What’s happening?” he asked.

“Time dilation,” she replied. “Our part of the bridge is experiencing time more quickly than the helm, and it’s passing even faster at ops and tactical.”

They had been studying a black hole up close. A tempting target for scientific inquiry, a mere half lightyear off their course for the Alpha Quadrant. While they had debated sending in a shuttle, the senior officers ultimately decided that the more powerful shields and sensors on _Voyager_ would bring the most success. So they had approached the gaping maw in space, for no other reason than curiosity.

The mission had gone well at first. Seven of Nine had been quietly thrilled by the new spectra of radiation she was recording. Harry Kim had called out various statistics, but otherwise kept his eyes fixed on the bright event horizon, his face filled with wonder. Kathryn had been happy, surrounded by her crew, all of them working in harmony toward a common goal. 

Then all hell broke loose.

The ship had shuddered in a way that resonated deep within her bones. Long years of practice kept the expletives in her mind from reaching her lips. Calmly, she asked for a status report. Despite their caution, _Voyager_ had been caught by a rogue gravimetric wave. The crew transferred all of their efforts from the investigation to saving the ship. Crisp orders and status reports gave way to more frantic exclamations as every attempted mitigation failed. And then, the bridge fell silent.

“Time dilation this severe …” Chakotay murmured.

“Means we’re too close,” Janeway finished softly. “Way too close.”

He sighed. “So this is it then.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Yes.”

“I thought we were far enough away from the gravity well,” Chakotay confessed. 

“You did warn Tom and me to back off,” she reminded him without malice.

“It’s my job to be the voice of reason,” he said with a wry smile, “If I was worried, you would have been the first to know.”

“The grav wave came out of nowhere. It’s just …” she shook her head with exasperation, “such a waste.”

Chakotay cocked his head. “How so?”

“Starfleet will never know what happened to us. Every species we met, every phenomenon we observed, all of that data, gone. We should have guarded it more carefully.”

“If you follow that line of reasoning, we wouldn’t have had any experiences worth sharing,” Chakotay replied. “It would have been a pretty boring trip.”

“I know,” she sighed, “I just wish …”

“Would you have even given this mission a second thought,” he said, “if we hadn’t hit the grav wave?”

Her answer was immediate. “No.”

Chakotay waved his hand, as if he could physically ward off her doubts. “We have to be who we are in this life, Kathryn. Even if it doesn’t always work out. I know it’s not the data you’re really worried about.”

She nodded, biting back a wave of overwhelming guilt. “I really thought we would make it home, and that our crew would get to hold their families again. Everything we went through, it was all for nothing.”

“It was not. It wasn’t nothing for people we rescued like Neelix and Seven, or for the people who have grown so much, like B’Elanna and Tom. And it certainly wasn’t nothing to me.”

“I know. You’re right,” Kathryn said, smiling at him gently.

She watched his shoulders relax as he accepted her truce. Neither of them wanted to spend their last moments arguing.

Kathryn noticed a curious sensation – little pinpricks along her skin. She didn’t need her tricorder to tell her what was happening. Her cells were no longer able to withstand the forces around them, and were being torn apart.

“Do you feel that?” she asked, alarmed.

“Yes,” Chakotay said.

He sounded calmer than she felt, but she could hear something else in his voice. Recognizing his sorrow, she reached for his hand.

“Chakotay–”

“–Kathryn, don’t. We didn’t need words before. Let’s not cheapen what we had by trying to find them now.”

She squeezed his hand and took a deep breath, stopping herself just before it could turn into a sob.

“I just wanted to say that you have the darkest eyes,” she rasped.

“And yours are the deepest blue,” he replied, his deep voice trembling only slightly.

They never said goodbye. There was a bright flash, and then the Federation starship _Voyager_ ceased to be.

**Author's Note:**

> I cried for you this morning  
> And I’ll cry for you again  
> But I’m not in charge of sorrow  
> So please don’t ask me when
> 
> I know the burden’s heavy  
> As you bear it through the night  
> Some people say it’s empty  
> But that doesn’t mean it’s light
> 
> _So let’s drink to when it’s over  
>  And let’s drink to when we meet  
> I’ll be standing on this corner  
> Where there used to be a street_


End file.
